Jedi atheist census Australia Force Waaahmbulance

Use The Force, Mate! Atheist Empire Not Happy With Jedi Rebellion Over Census

In a country far, far away (Australia), a war is brewing over census data. The Atheist Empire is unhappy with rebel scum who put down “Jedi” as their religion. The Atheist Empire argues it will skew the results and make Australia seem more religious than it really is, leading to bad things with public services.

In 2011’s census, 64,390 Australians put “Jedi” down as their religion, which increased from 58,053 Jedi in 2006. Some are just donkey voting, sticking the middle finger up at authorities, but some sincerely worship the Force. The Atheist Empire thinks the Force is woo, and doesn’t see the funny side, and wants to crush the rebellion with rational thinking. They even made this cuter than an ewok poster to convince people they should all think like they do.

Wait, the government using census data to wisely spend our tax dollars? The AFA is worshipping at the Temple of Woo themselves if they believe that (pun intended)! This year’s census also brings a major change that raises serious privacy concerns. In previous years, it was optional to include your name and address; now it’s compulsory. That is a huge leap and the ABS has been highly unconvincing in their reasons for the change.

Now excuse me, I’ll be at the local cantina, learning to force choke a beer can like a proper Aussie Jedi… or a scruffy-looking nerf herder.

  1. Jedi
    To be fair, this is how all religions start. The only difference is in the past we didn’t have movies. All religions start as a bunch of stories of journeys from long ago. The Jedi religion teaches nothing different from existing religions if people would just pay attention to them. I’ve always thought it fascinating that a religion could be born out of a film franchise. Then again, I have an anthropological mind. I think many atheists would benefit from that, and frankly, if it’s not hurting you, leave it alone. Atheists, some of them at least, seem to like to tease the snake and expect not to get bitten. They need to realize that this sign, something that asks people to dismiss their beliefs, is a form of discrimination. No different than when white settlers escaping religious oppression in England came to the US colonies and then tried to oppress the Native Americans. You’re really no different than religions atheists, it’s just that most religions have learned by now that oppression doesn’t work and isn’t looked on kindly. So leave the Jedis alone.

  2. Typical…
    Typical attitude of the most vocal members of the Atheist community: Always taking things waaaay too seriously…

    As an aside question, is the Jedi affiliation stronger in New Zealand? What with Temuera Morrison being one of the few good things the Prequels gave us?

    1. your soul
      Some religious people aggressively need to save your soul, and if it kills your body that is a small price to pay for your eternal soul.

      Some atheists are like that, only they don’t believe you have a soul.

  3. Jedi
    DON’T MARK YOURSELF AS ‘JEDI’ – in huge, bold, yellow, capital letters on a black background. Wow, I haven’t seen propaganda that blatant since the last network news show I gagged down.

    Some are just donkey voting, sticking the middle finger up at authorities, but some sincerely worship the Force.

    There could be a third reason for marking ‘Jedi’. Maybe, of all the names of religions that readily come to mind, Jedi comes closest to describing some people’s understanding of ultimate reality. The tv shows Kung Fu, Star Trek and Babylon 5 (among others) may have had as much of an influence as Star Wars. But how would anyone explain those nuances on a census form? So, perhaps the choice of Jedi just means ‘religiously/philosophically thoughtful but in a non-traditional way.’

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