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In a country far, far away (Australia), a war is brewing over census data. The Atheist Empire is unhappy with rebel scum who put down “Jedi” as their religion. The Atheist Empire argues it will skew the results and make Australia seem more religious than it really is, leading to bad things with public services.

In 2011’s census, 64,390 Australians put “Jedi” down as their religion, which increased from 58,053 Jedi in 2006. Some are just donkey voting, sticking the middle finger up at authorities, but some sincerely worship the Force. The Atheist Empire thinks the Force is woo, and doesn’t see the funny side, and wants to crush the rebellion with rational thinking. They even made this cuter than an ewok poster to convince people they should all think like they do.

Wait, the government using census data to wisely spend our tax dollars? The AFA is worshipping at the Temple of Woo themselves if they believe that (pun intended)! This year’s census also brings a major change that raises serious privacy concerns. In previous years, it was optional to include your name and address; now it’s compulsory. That is a huge leap and the ABS has been highly unconvincing in their reasons for the change.

Now excuse me, I’ll be at the local cantina, learning to force choke a beer can like a proper Aussie Jedi… or a scruffy-looking nerf herder.