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There are very few things that make me laugh out loud, but the Myths Retold website is one of them. No doubt it’s a humour that won’t appeal to everyone, but for me, breaking down the absolute insane storylines of many ancient (and modern) myths and telling them ‘street-style’ is a combination that works beautifully. It’s NSFW stuff, not just for the regular F-bombs, but because many ancient myths were pure smut, so be warned. But it’s also very funny.

Anyhow, Myths Retold can now be purchased in book form, in the shape of the recently-released Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology (grab a copy from Amazon US or Amazon UK):

All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider:

  • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.
  • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.
  • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.
  • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.

And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Buy Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes from Amazon US or Amazon UK.