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For the past few years there has been plenty of debate about the possible dangers of ‘Active SETI’ – that is, transmitting messages out to aliens, bringing attention to us (also known as METI – “Message to ET Intelligence”), rather than passively listening out for others (traditional SETI). However, I think there’s an obvious solution…just get Alan Moore to send the message. Which is exactly what BBC Radio 6 did late last year. What self-respecting alien civilisation could respond aggressively to Alan inviting them over for a cuppa?

Yeah, Hello? Uh, if you’re there pick up, okay listen it’s Alan calling, Alan from Earth. You probably don’t remember, it’s over in the western spiral of the Milky Way although obviously you might have named it after a completely different brand of chocolate. Basically just find the Oort Cloud and ask for directions from there. Anyway just calling to catch up. We’re doing alright with the carbon base lifeform thing. Kids are diversifying nicely, going through a bit of a fad for spines and brains at the minute but it’s probably the same where you are. Well, that’s about it really, we just hadn’t heard from you in a while, like when we killed Michael Rennie or Klaatu, as you knew him in The Day The Earth Stood Still. So if you received this, get in touch, but actually thinking about it, don’t bother calling after about, what, 2150, because I’m not expecting anyone to be in. Oh and I’m sending this song along it’s called God Song by Robert Wyatt. I hope you like it. And that you don’t communicate through perfume or minor variatrions in your sense of balance or something. Okay, you take care and I’ll talk to you soon. Love you, Bye.

Background music seems to be Sigur Rós. Hat tip: A Moment of Moore.