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News Briefs 03-05-2007

Silence is golden…

Quote of the Day:

The cosmic ballet goes on.

Leonard Nimoy (in ‘The Simpsons’)

Editor
  1. The best story
    Greg the best story I have ever read is the one entitled ‘Female ducks evolve combat genitalia to fend off unwelcome males’.
    That headline is up there with ‘Moths drink the tears of sleeping birds’.
    I cannot comment any further though on this story as I am lost for words, I think the first time in my life this has happened.
    It is such a wonderful story that I can’t even imagine where you find these things.
    Ain’t nature a wonderful thing!

    shadows

    1. catholic joke just for you Shadows
      A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She
      lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

      “What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior. “I thought this was
      the day you spent with your family.”

      “It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”

      “I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”

      “Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today.”

      “Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You must tell me all about it!”

      “Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a monster, Mother; 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green…and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee .”

      “Oh my!” commiserated the Mother. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”

      “No, that wasn’t it,” admitted Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway.”

      “Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized Mother.

      “But I didn’t, Mother Superior.” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off with my ball still clutched in his paws.”

      “So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother with a knowing smile.

      “Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup .”

      Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…

      “You missed the fucking putt, didn’t you?

      —-
      Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

      1. I Love It!
        Earthling

        Thanks for the joke! I had a good laugh!

        What do you think?

        cnnek

        {You Can Teach People How To Think Or What To Think; But, You Can’t Do Both! It Is Better To Teach People How To Think!!!}

    2. You gotta love that last line
      The last line in the duck story:

      “It shows that females are not passive in averting exploitation by males with large phalluses,”

      I love it!

      yer ol’ pal,

      Xibalba
      (This post was brought to you by “Realm of the Dead”)

  2. Al Gore
    Don’t know if anyone else looked at the article linked to. I tried to read it, but my eyes hurt, because of the light blue text on the little less light blue background.

    Who does that website? I don’t know how much they get paid, but it is too much.

    —-
    Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    1. Bad site design
      I read that article. The colour scheme was a bit of a put-ff, but I persevered. It was worth it. One of the commenters on that site also made the point about the text. You can’t be too critical because TDG has the same problem. (Hint, hint.)

      If you really want to read it, you can cut and paste it onto Notepad and read it there, or you can drag your mouse over the text to highlight it, and read it in reverse colours. I do the same with the TDG headers when I want to read them.

      1. TDG Headers
        You are very smart, Lee!!! Thanks for that hint – it never occurred to me. Instead I used to peer at the Header hoping that I could will it into giving me some information, although that method usually failed!

        Regards, Kathrinn.

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