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STEP RIGHT UP: The Latest Episode in Maussan’s UFO Carnivale


I mean…

Seriously, folks.

No, really. Seriously.

I ask: Is anyone who’s been paying attention to the UFO field for longer than just a couple of years, even mildly surprised by what happened on the Mexican Congress last night, on September 12th?

You know, it almost makes me proud to think that one of the biggest, most bombastic, larger-than-life paranormal entertainers, and one of the most famous carnival barkers in this crazy ass three-ring circus that is the UFO field, happens to be a conational of mine.

It’s like whenever you watch one of the latest Hollywood action blockbusters or TV series and notice the baddies everyone fear happen to be some imaginary Mexican cartel, that Taco Tuesday is a universal thing, or that Tequila is the #1 alcoholic drink responsible for ruining the health of billions of people across the globe.

(Yes, it’s weird and stupid, but there are probably worse nationalistic things you could be proud of —I’m looking at you, Romanians: you’re only famous because some creepy prince’s favorite pastime was impaling his enemies while eating brunch!)

You’ve just got to give it to him, man. The fearlessness! The bravado! The not-giving-a-fuck attitude displayed by Jaime Maussan (“me vale madres!” we would say here in Mexico) who noticed the public interest generated by the latest US Congressional hearing on UFOs, in which unsubstantiated claims surrounding the alleged recovery of alien craft (and even bodies of occupants!) were submitted under oath and thought —like the seasoned showman he is— he could ‘one-up’ that.

How? Why by ‘cranking it up to eleven’ and showing actual bodies of ‘alien specimens’ on live TV! Take that, C-Span!

Ten or fifteen years ago, when commenting about something like this —and believe me kids, Maussan has given us plenty of opportunities for doing so in the past— I would have written something along the lines of:

“The history of UFOlogy is a tortuous journey comprised of one step forward, followed by two steps back.”

But you see, in my old cranky age I think I’m wise enough (or tired enough) to realize this idea of a ‘journey’ is total horse manure; because it assumes there’s an actual goal or finish line to reach by the end of it —like the global acknowledgement of the reality of UFOs and its non-human nature— and here I think lies the problem: Because the moment you believe there’s a need to reach that goal, you put yourself at risk of being lied to… or exploited by conmen.

Former Navy aviator Ryan Graves learned this lesson the hard way yesterday. Others like him did the same, like Richard Dolan when he agreed to participate in one of Maussan’s previous UFO spectacles less than ten years ago: Be-Witness.

Just like this latest show, the whole thing fell apart almost immediately, thanks to the brilliant collaboration of online researchers and computer experts who fully debunked the whole thing and showed to everyone’s satisfaction (except Maussan’s of course) this ‘recovered alien body from the Roswell crash’ was nothing but the mummified remains of an indigenous boy displayed in a small museum. To his credit, Richard Dolan backed away from the Be-Witness fiasco almost immediately. Graves has equally followed suit, and I’m not being ‘diplomatic’ when I state I truly believe Ryan didn’t know what he was getting into when he agreed to talk about the issue of UAPs and its repercussions to civilian and military air safety at the behest of Maussan’s invitation.

Because here’s the thing that would infuriate me if I were a young Disclosure activist: Just like Greer, Maussan has a strange knack for mixing the shit with the Shinola in his events. And I’m not just talking about Graves here: Mexican radio controller Enrique Kolbeck, CEFORA representative Andrea Pérez Simondin from Argentina, Rony Vernet from Brazil, or former GEIPAN consultant Michael Valliant from France had interesting and valuable things to say about the UFO mystery in their countries. The Mexican UFO hearing had a commendable international flavor the US audiences sorely lacked (and should emulate) and under other circumstances I would have loved to comment on what each and either one of these speakers said.

But unfortunately I can’t, because… you know… space mummies.

And to anyone reading this who might still be uncertain about my posture, let me cut to the chase: Yes, these are 100% FAKE alien bodies. No, I don’t care about the statements made by the ‘scientists’ who accompanied Maussan and claimed they were real —how could I, when I remember some of them (like forensic ‘expert’ Jorge Zalce Benítez) are the same people who vouched for the authenticity of the 2015 Be-Witness event and were able to deduct ‘impossible’ alien features from the blurry Kodachrome slides on that occasion? Maussan is an expert of spinning yarns by mixing truths and half-truths into hyperbole. The lab results didn’t find any viable matches in the DNA databases? Well that means this is a specimen of non-Earthly origin!! Call it the marriage between “the will to believe” and “the will to make a profit.”

This is nothing but the latest chapter in a long, loooong litany of hucksterism which makes one wonder just how many free passes does one get in the UFO field before you get permanently banned? If UFOlogy was a bar, then Jaime pulled out his pants and pissed on the floor and the tables a long, looong time ago; and yet the bouncers are nowhere to be seen! Fool me once, vatos —or in my case, multiple times, because back in my day I idolized the son of a bitch when I was an impressionable little lad who was mesmerized by the incredible images this (then) young reporter showed on Mexican primetime television: the Edward “Billy” Meier photos.

Yeah, I learned the hard way myself.

To anyone still unsure about this hoax, there’s plenty of evidence that debunks it. But if you’re not much of a science oriented type (or just lazy) I propose to you then a simple exercise in common logic: If these were real ancient artifacts (regardless of their ordinary or anomalous nature) then how could a private citizen own them and publicize them publicly without creating an international outroar from the Peruvian government; a country that, just like my own, has become very protective of their cultural heritage after centuries of pillaging by foreign influences?

Think about it: If these were real, and Maussan has kept these ‘alien bodies’ since 2017, how come it hasn’t turned into a major diplomatic incident?

It hasn’t, because they’re fake.*

But Hey, I am more than willing to eat my own words and be proven wrong the moment Maussan hands over this amazing evidence to the capable hands of Avi Loeb and their Galileo project so they can stop worrying about chasing alien artifacts in the bottom of the ocean and confirm his findings —why wait for the next Oumuamua when proof of alien visitation is kept inside little wooden boxes in Mexico?

Or perhaps Dr. Garry Nolan and his newly created Sol Foundation would be more adequate to prove once and for all these are the silver bullets we’d all been waiting for all along? Alas, Nolan is a bit more experienced in the matters of getting embroiled with attention-seeking schemes involving indigenous mummies (Ata anyone?) and hence is using a chef-kiss diplomatic solution to distance himself from this charade as much as he possibly can. “Not my job” is basically his reply.

There are many other questions that keep bothering me about this whole spectacle:

Who paid for all this (was it privately sponsored or supported with public funds)?

Why weren’t there any military Mexican UFO witnesses emulating the example of Ryan Graves speaking at this ‘historic’ event? Could it be because, as rumor has it, Maussan has no good relations with the military after the way he exploited a famous 2006 event involving a crew of the Mexican Air Force, which he was entrusted by the authorities to investigate, and hence became the one and only time the Mexican military opened their UFO files?

And what kind of UFO-oriented legislation could we expect to see emanating from this exercise here in Mexico, despite the fact Congressman Sergio Gutiérrez Luna —the politician who sponsored this event at the Mexican Congress— is neither a member of the Mexican National Security Legislative Commission, nor he has any influence in the National legislation regulating air travel safety —the issue Graves was so interested in discussing before an international panel?

Make no mistake about it: All this backlash and ridicule surrounding Maussan’s event in just less than 24 hours? He’ll still be able to spin it and turn a profit from it. He’ll claim the “UFO silencers” are attacking him for daring to bring ‘Disclosure’ to the masses. He’ll accuse all of us who dared to criticize him and keep count of all the skeletons hidden in his closet (both big and small) of conspiring against the “bright future” that awaits humanity when we all finally accept we’re not alone, and he was right all along.

Because you don’t get to be a prolific promoter of hoaxes without learning to contort yourself until you become completely spineless. He has made a fool of himself, again and again, and people laugh at his name; but his loyal audience (which they are LEGION) will still adore him tomorrow after UFOlogy’s attention veers toward the next would-be Disclosure display.

And they will continue to adore him until (perhaps) certain sectors in the field do something about it.

You know exactly who I’m talking about: organizers of conferences who keep inviting him, and speakers who don’t mind sharing a stage with the likes of him, as long as they get paid.

But since the UFO field is primarily an entertainment industry, I foresee Maussan will keep on with his Cabinet of Curiosities for a very, very long time. And maybe, just maybe, that is exactly the way it has to be; because unlike those young Disclosure activists who cry themselves to sleep nursing a bottle of antacid after ‘fighting’ with the hordes of online skeptics and debunkers on social media, part of me acknowledges that —like Gollum— Maussan’s carnival attractions may have a bigger role to play before this tale is finished.

If anything, it makes for the best show on planet Earth. So step right up, boys and girls! Everybody can get in for the right price!

Cartoon originally made for Curt Collins’s essay in the UFOs: Reframing the Debate Anthology

(*) Maussan’s shenanigans haven’t gone full international incident, but they have triggered an outcry from the Peruvian scientific community who determined some of these ‘alien mummies’ were created using real ancient mummies and mutilating or altering them to give them a ‘non-human’ appearance. Again, it is interesting how Maussan chose to display only two ‘small’ bodies (possible forgeries made out of animal remains) when he and Gaia have also publicized Peruvian ‘alien mummies’ of a larger, human size.

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