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News Briefs 02-06-2014

Wrap your brain cells around this lot:

Quote of the Day:

People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

  1. Print humans on site
    This aligns with some of my most recent musings re. the UFO phenomenon –maybe they send AI probes instructed to use whatever available DNA is already present on a planet, use it to grow bodies adapted to the planet’s gravity & biosphere, and just upload their consciousness on to the 3d-printed ‘vessel.’

    1. However
      Wouldn’t introducing any new species to a new planet risk wiping out the native population [of whatever] with the possibility of disease? We’ve seen the damage an invasive species can do on Earth, so who’s to say WE can’t be an invasive species. Hell, humans have been in the past anytime the white Europeans came into the “New World.” Maybe we all are invasive species…

  2. Guru
    How to test if someone is dead, a basic lesson:

    Step 1: Is there breath? Hold a mirror up to the patients mouth. If it fogs up he is still breathing and still alive.

    Step 2: Heartbeat. Check to see if he has a pulse. A medical professional would be more adept at this than the regular person off the street.

    Step 3: Smell. Assuming he doesn’t ALWAYS smell like a dead guy, if you notice a pungent odor coming from him, especially the orifices, signaling the presence of decay in the soft tissues. Then he is dead.

    Step 4: If all else fails you could just poke him with a stick.

    This has been a basic lesson on how to tell if your guru is dead or meditating. Thank you for purchasing this tape. Please flip to Side B for our next lesson on How to Tell if You are Drowning.

  3. Quotes
    [quote=]Ever since humans nuked Atlantis, these Inner Earth People have been camping out in tunnels, wearing “red-orangey suits,” and occasionally colonizing other planets.[/quote]

    I just want this on the back of a t-shirt so I can wear it on college campuses and see how many people walk into poles trying to comprehend it……Am I mean?

    From the dolphin article:

    [quote=]“Cooking is fine. Cleaning is interesting… Each morning most of the dirt is neatly deposited at the foot of the elevator shaft. All I have to do is suck it up.”[/quote]

    I….I have no words…but my mind went straight to the gutter ._.

  4. Nice one, Grail-seeker
    I don’t think it was a coincidence that the “Proof of Survival” and the “Lesson in fake skepticism” links were placed next to each other. 😉 Haha.

    P.S. Love the Emerson quote.

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