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I played the Harry Potter audio book backwards, and it said … hang on, there’s someone at the door. Today’s news is brought to you by the Vatican.

  • Police in Khurja, India, believe the disappearance of children is linked to a bloodthirsty cult worshipping the Hindu goddess Kali. That’ll teach Harry for dabbling in the dark arts.
  • Are demons to blame for children mysteriously fainting in the African village of Ombalayamumbwenge? Maybe they learned the length of the next Harry Potter novel.
  • Edit: I escaped the vile clutches of the Vatican’s henchmen, and avoided an exorcism. On with the news …
  • In an English pub, poltergeists haunt the locals, including one that pinches the bottoms of female stuff. I could do with a pinch … I mean, PINT!
  • Scotland’s alpha dinosaur expert says the Loch Ness Monster is … drum roll … an ELEPHANT! Ach, twas a big pink one too!
  • The island of Iona, off the west coast of Scotland, is steeped in ancient lore and mystery, including the legend of an incredible library that puts Greg’s bookshelves to shame.
  • A Q&A with Malaysian biodiversity expert Vincent Chow about the Bigfoot of Johor. He also believes in elephants.
  • The hunt for Malaysia’s bigfoot is a step in the right direction according to a student newspaper writer. One small step for mankind, one giant leap for bigfoot.
  • The popularity of the Texan El Chupacabra is inspiring art and films. I’d like to see El Chupa paint a self-portrait, like elephants do at the zoo.
  • Does the snow snake of Iroquois legend exist, and how do you find a white snake in the snow? Maybe an elephant is buried under the snow, and all you can see is his trunk.
  • After centuries of being dissected by school-children and scientists alike, mice are discovered to have two thymus organs.
  • The biggest carnivore of the dinosaur era is certainly no mouse. Nice pic.
  • Are underwater UFOs bizarre jellyfish, swimming elephants or left-over props from a James Cameron film?
  • A recent MUFON meeting reveals tales of time traveling aliens, but no elephants or plot spoilers for the final Harry Potter novel.
  • An excellent article about Australian UFO researcher Bill Chalker, the fourth Lone Gunman.
  • From ThothWeb, Crop Circles: a product of collective consciousness, a call card from ET … or something else?
  • Giving Peter Gabriel’s Red Rain a new twist, did red microbes from outer space rain down on India in July 2001? HG Wells’ War of the Worlds comes to mind.
  • That red rain was bottled, and sits on a shelf in Sheffield University’s microbiology laboratory. It could be the new coca-cola.
  • As if a mouse with two thymus organs wasn’t enough, Jupiter has not just one, but two red spots. Don’t get too close, you might catch it.
  • Here’s an update on the giant Ancient Egyptian sun temple discovered in a Cairo suburb recently.
  • An update to the hundreds of tiny Buddha carvings found on the banks of an American River — it’s all a hoax, but a creative hoax.
  • For Kat, who’s keeping a wary eye Yellowstone’s volcanic hiccups: the Pompeii of the East.
  • Deciphering the Dan Brown code: a day in the life of the Leigh Teabing court case. Hey, John Grisham is on the jury!
  • A rebel theologian has caused a stir in the Da Vinci Code copyright hearings. Rebels tend to do that.
  • An Italian parliamentary commission has concluded that the former Soviet Union was behind the 1981 assassination attempt on the late Pope John Paul II, and was not a collaboration between Dan Brown and JK Rowling.

Quote of the Day:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Gandalf … er, I mean Albus Dumbledore. JK will sacrifice me to Kali for that.