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News Briefs 19-09-2005

Yarr, I’ve been pillagin’ and plunderin’ the wide seas of the Internet for today’s news. If ye not be speakin’ like a pirate, then down to Davey Jones’s Locker ye go!

  • Yarr, a sea may have been found on Saturn’s moon, Titan. Tis one sea I’ve yet to sail.
  • Well I’ll be blown, are there two suns in our solar system? Lost Star of Myth and Time, by Walter Cruttenden (Amazon US or UK).
  • From the moon to Mars, does NASA have a new agenda? Yarr, the Sea of Tranquillity.
  • Twas a strange sight indeed when me first-mate sighted 100-billion brown dwarfs.
  • A new theory of trigonometry is easier to use and more accurate, but can it measure me the stars to sail straight and true?
  • Sir Hermann Bondi, an astrophysicist who helped formulate the steady-state theory of the universe – which said the universe has always existed – has gone to Fiddler’s Green.
  • These physicists be drinkin’ too much bumboo, compiling a cd of sand music inspired by singing sand dunes. They be dancin’ the hempen jig if they don’t play me a good ol’ sea shanty.
  • Why do meteorites keep fallin’ in a small area of western Rajasthan, India? They be cannonballs from me monkey.
  • Shiver me timbers, UFOs above Loughton, Uk. Tis St Elmo’s Fire, if ye ask me.
  • Even the fiercest of scallywag cynics would be hard-pressed to dismiss some of the UFO reports filed since 2000 with a variety of Canadian federal agencies. By the Powers!
  • A landlubber he might be, but this UFO enthusiast shares his beliefs like I don’t share me grog.
  • A new book claims to solve the Fatima Mystery (Amazon US or UK).
  • Tis not me trusty tricorner with the Jolly Roger, but this hat might save ye from alien abductions.
  • Jim Marrs deserves a Letter of Marque for discussin’ Remote Viewin’, conspiracy theories, and ye olde Bible Code.
  • Yarr, a tale of betrayal and brazen double-bluffs. Magic circle wrapped in a cloak of intrigue and mystery orders Spyros Melaris, an outspoken mind reader, to walk the plank and never set foot on their ship again.
  • Do ye think ye know what Marc Salem be thinkin’? He be a mind-reader, this lad.
  • An Italian psychic’s vision of a dead woman in a lake helped police solve the three-year mystery. Yarr, there be no witches aboard me ship!
  • Ye olde Catholic Church be recruitin’ more student exorcists. Don’t be a lily-livered, scurvy dog, you son of a biscuit!
  • The Earth’s crust be pulsatin’ in the Amazon Basin, like a dog’s guts after a night on the grog.
  • A research team be locatin’ new evidence of an Amazonian civilisation.
  • Records show hurricanes are getting stronger, and may be linked to Global Warming. Hold fast, me mateys!
  • Are wormholes tunnels for time travel? I be in the wrong century, yarr.
  • Tis not Moby Dick, but a rare white giraffe. Thar she blows, me mateys!
  • This ‘ere head of a sea-monster was found in me ship’s galley by me cook, and I’ll give ye pieces of eight if ye pay in silver.
  • California’s Chumash Indians may have learned boat-building from Polynesians. Yarr, they be pirates at heart.
  • In his new movie The Myth, Jackie Chan plays an archaeologist who promotes the repatriation of artifacts to their countries of origin. Yarr, Zahi Hawass is a lily-livered flea-bitten dog who wishes Jackie Chan would play him in a biopic.
  • Keith Richards appearin’ in the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel, Dead Man’s Chest, is lookin’ unlikely.
  • Speakin’ of fossils, fossilised footprints of a baby dinosaur have been found in Scotland.
  • Homo Floresiensis – aka the Hobbit – does indeed represent a new species of early man. A fine cabin-boy he made too, and I called him Roger.
  • Yar, tis a fine education for young lads and lasses to be speakin’ like a pirate.

Quote of the Day:

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Mark Twain

  1. Avast and behoy
    You must have been very good, matey, to get that day permit for pirating. And I won’t even inquire about your business with Roger. Jolly good reading! As an aside, inquiring minds want to know when you think students will read about our binary star system in their textbooks? Not in this lifetime, you say?

  2. ahh-rrrrrrrrrrr………
    me hearties….all this talk about ‘Jolly Rogers’ and ‘I’ll be blown’ has got me excited…………… about the HAT. If it will stop all them voices in me head quicker then me ration of rum…..I’ll be makin one me self….rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    DISCLAIMER: the opinions and veiws in this post are mine only and are not those of others or of TDG. Any similarities are by chance only. Unless otherwise “quoted”.

    1. Like a dog’s guts after a night of grog!
      A pirates favorite letter, RRRRR! Well done with the slang of ages. Were the Corsairs and early Freemasons pirates? The skull and crossbones a masonic artifact? Shine forth brave souls.Respectfully Dennis(from Oregon).

  3. Ahoy, me maties
    By the Powers! Fer sure, me matey Rico be goin’ to Fiddlers Green fer goin’ on the account at TDG. ‘Course, this saucy wench twernt be surprised if ole Rico t’wer loaded to the gunwales afore ‘e sailed. ‘N iffen a full head o’ grog twernt t’ cause, mayhaps t’ wind in ‘is sails arose from a full treasure chest and amazin’ booty whut’uz ripe for the takin’.

    N’er t’ less, which’er it was, as Davey Barry dun tol’ ye, all ye sprogs bes’ be talkin’ t’ talk on this September 19th — or prepare yer swaggy fer boardin’! So hop to it, ye scum-ridden weevil shaggers, afore Cap’n Rico be keelhaulin’ the lot ‘o ye.

    Hankerin’ fer’a few pints o’ ale, I’m abou’ t’ drop anchor a’ t’ Black Spot, meself – t’irst bein’ a shameless disease what needs constan’ trea’men’, as ye’ll no dou’ be knowin’. If any of you sea-luvin’ wench’s ‘ave a mind to meet up wit me there, n’er forget the true wench’s Code: T’ sea bein’ such a fickle mistress, t’ only way ye can be certain ye and yer ship won’ end up in Davey Jones locker is t’ ride your pirate instead. 😉

    1. Kat!!
      Goodness, you and Rick are really taken with this pirate business.As for me, who has to occasionally wear an eye patch and always has a parrot on my shoulder, I will not take it personally.
      I rather like the sound of Cap’n Rico.


      1. Yarr
        I be thinkin’ of yer ol’ mate, Cap’n the Parrot, m’lady Shadows. Tis why I drew a map to the treasure on this ‘ere cracker, and I be givin’ it to Cap’n for safe-keepin’.

        Yarr, a fine Cap’n I make aboard the good ship Daily Grail, but tis Greg the Pirate King who steadies the ship. Cap’n Kat, tho be a woman, brings good luck and fair sailin’. Then there be Bill the Bosun, Jameske the ship’s surgeon, and Cernig be back in harbour, drinkin’ grog an’ ‘avin a merry time of it – he be back soon, or forever a landlubber he be, yarr.

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