News Briefs 31-03-2005

Welcome to the home of uncommon sense…

  • In the past million years, the Earth experienced a major ice age about every 100,000 years. Scientists have several theories to explain this glacial cycle, but new research suggests the primary driving force is all in how the planet leans.
  • The latest edition of New Scientist is now available online. Check it out here.
  • Sex is an expensive and risky business. It steals time and drains precious nutrient resources. And each act of reproduction runs the risk of messing up carefully crafted genetic blueprints. So why do we do it?
  • Russian scientists has suggested caning as a treatment for those who suffer from depressive illnesses. When a patient is caned, the body starts producing endorphins “happiness hormones” and life seems attractive again.
  • Once, neolithic Britons raised huge earthworks and hills – now an artist is to go one better with an earthen Goddess with 100ft breasts.
  • So what about all these British big cats then? An expert from the Zoological Society says she “remains highly sceptical – 99 per cent, if not all, of these reports are rubbish. The whole issue is swamped by hysteria.”
  • The director of the Disclosure Project says the recent ABC special on UFO’s was a disinformation and cover-up piece which ignored the evidence the Project gave ABC.
  • Reverse engineering extra-terrestrial deep underwater craft – the floating versions of UFOs.
  • The United States is readying an ultra-sophisticated 2,000 ton anti-missile radar system to float slowly from Texas to Alaska via Cape Horn.
  • About 2,000 years after the Gospel according to Judas sowed discord among early Christians, a Swiss foundation says it is translating for the first time the controversial text named after the apostle said to have betrayed Jesus Christ.
  • The Dragon in the Lake — new book reveals latest research on the ancient underwater pyramids in Wisconsin
  • Meet the mind readers. Paralysed people can now control artificial limbs by thought alone.
  • Those of you who found the idea of gun-toting robots a little creepy should probably click away right now. Because the US Army has just finished testing out a unmanned ground vehicle, or UGV, that obliterates its foes with electrically-fired grenades.
  • Australian officials cracked “The Da Vinci Code” when they discovered illegal drugs hidden inside a copy of the best-selling novel sent to Australia from Britain.
  • One of Scotland’s national treasures, the 5-foot sword wielded by William Wallace, the rebel leader portrayed in the Academy Award-winning film “Braveheart,” left its homeland for the first time in more than 700 years Wednesday.
  • Researchers have identified a patient with a unique, drug-resistant variant of HIV associated with the rapid development of AIDS.
  • Help Wanted: Space colonists need to be more than astronauts.
  • Figures published by the Department of Health have revealed a huge range of unusual accidents which put people in hospital in England in 2004. Here is just a small sample.
  • A thorough analysis of the Koran reveals that the US will cease to exist in the year 2007, according to research published by Palestinian scholar Ziad Silwadi.

Quote of the Day:


Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen

Albert Einstein

    1. Public Service
      Maybe it would be a good idea if the Grail editors offered free spankings to anyone who was feeling a bit glum…just as a public service, you understand.

      1. What has me wondering
        Could it be that the book The Da Vinci code was deliberately loaded with steroids and mailed, and then “found” to discredit the book and continue to bad mouth it, as a form of propaganda?
        XC

        Dr. Colette M. Dowell ND
        Circular Times
        Moving Forward Publications

      2. very sad
        I’m feelng very depressed lately “Cernig”.
        And I am the oldest one here so I am putting my name down first.
        Of course if Oscar has anything to do with it tell him I died and went to heaven.

        shadows

        (or wherever it is that good shadows go)

        1. Shadows Depressed Silk Cords
          I have a few silk cords I could flog you with in a feminine style, course we won’t let Oscar watch….

          I don’t want you to go away….YOu and Kat and EM (isn’t EM a woman?) well you are all such good characters and so intelligent and all…..

          Let’s see a baby boy’s name ??????

          I get all gooshy when babies arrive…

          Sounds like you all had a heck of a time while Greg was away….

          So far I think everything is OK with Ankh, but I owe you one for that Shadows….

          I am smiling..

          The news , I think was yesterday was unreal…I saw the article you folks wee talking about….the Russian experiment with the P&Arm.
          IS that for real? I thought it was like a National Enquirer type article. And the graphics, i can produce better graphics then that….

          I copied it over and sent it to my niner friend , he emailed me this back. I think it is from Whitley’s site…so I should say courtesy Whitley Streiber I suppose…..The ole horror boy..
          Now read this, this is scary….oooooohhhhh.
          XC

          Artificial Penis Escapes from Lab
          01-Apr-2005

          Robot Penis
          A robotic penis being tested at the government’s Human Analytics Facility in Orange County, California has disappeared. Officials said that the electrically powered prosthetic has an internal guidance system, and may have left on its own after a power surge caused by a thunderstorm moving through the area deranged its onboard computer.
          Lab director Dr. Michael Merkin said that he’s concerned for the safety of anybody who stole the penis, or comes into contact with it. “This is a powerful device,” he said, “and could be very dangerous if it falls into unskilled hands.”

          Federal agents are combing the area in search of the penis. A house to house search has thus far failed to turn up the artificial organ. A crew utilizing special infrared sensing equipment has been dispatched by helicopter, but report that they are unable to distinguish the heat signature of the penis from above because it is too similar to that of bald pedestrians.

          Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger of California invoked his emergency powers to force bald men to either wear hats or remain off the streets for the duration of the emergency. “We must all co-operate together during this emergency,” the governor said, “even though we are Californians.”

          According to lab officials the penis has been classified “at the highest levels” under the National Security Act. They could not say why. In addition to state and local police, over three hundred members of the White House Secret Service detail were involved in the search. A Secret Service spokesman declined to comment.

          As a result of Freedom of Information Act requests, liberal government critic Tom DeLay (not related) has learned that the penis grew out of a cigar smoking machine that had been built for the California governor and his staff to prevent them from having to extinguish and thus ruin expensive cigars when they temporarily left smoking areas to work. The machine was developed at a cost of 135 million dollars, but scrapped because it could only smoke 10 cigars at a time, and the governor has more than 10 cigar smoking staff members. “It could not be reconciled with equal opportunity statutes and the special interests forced us to get rid of it,” the Governor commented. Sources say that it also wheezed.

          To create the penis, the cigar smoking machine was combined with a computer chip and body parts removed from a beluga whale that was swept ashore during a recent typhoon that struck Carmel, California. The storm also leveled 58 of the town’s 417 art galleries.

          Dr. Colette M. Dowell ND
          Circular Times
          Moving Forward Publications

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