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News Briefs 06-02-2005

Trying to quit drinks with too much caffeine/sugar is like learning how to fly by flapping your arms in a bird-like manner. It’s a new moon this week — I wish you all a happy Losar and Year of the Rooster.

  • A Tibetan remembers childhood Losar celebrations. Who will remember the Tibetans?
  • Soothsayers warn us to beware of earthquakes and typhoons in the Year of the Rooster. What else will the Chinese New Year bring? Shanghai dumplings, I hope.
  • Thank the Gods it isn’t the Year of the Duck.
  • Unfortunately there’s been no updates to the rumour of a UFO crash near the Nepal-Chinese border. Does posting no news count as news?
  • In Xinjiang Province, Northeast China (close to the Mongolian border), Zhang Hui is excavating stone circles that he believes are prehistoric versions of modern-day crop circles.
  • BIG NEWS: 600-year-old ruins of a Chinese fortress discovered somewhere on the Atlantic coast of North America. Is it May 16th yet? Is it? Is it? Awww, there’s 97 days to go …
  • In China, a Tang Dynasty (AD 618-907) fortress has been discovered. The Chinese made a lot of fortresses. Now they make Doctor Martens boots, stitched with triple happiness by Shaolin Monks, and wearing them is like floating on the Five Clouds of Immortal Comfort.
  • In Liangzhu, skeletons of dogs lie next to their masters in tombs dating back 4000-5300 years ago. Dogs are so loyal. I hope my golden retriever Macy is reading this.
  • Beijing’s Drum Tower, built in AD 1272, is being destroyed by vandals and thieves.
  • Imagine trying to piece together more than 700 fragments of oracle bones and inscribed tortoiseshell. That’s one hell of a jigsaw puzzle.
  • A fossil discovered in Antarctica contradicts the theory that dinosaurs evolved into birds.
  • Is reading TDG making you hungry? Sample a delicious dish of stir-fried Mammoth with 10’000-year-old-rice.
  • If you don’t find this appetizing, then try eating it with 137-year-old Tabasco sauce.
  • In the jungles of Malaysia, a 1000-year-old lost city thought to be Kota Gelanggi, an early trading center of the Srivijaya empire, waits to be discovered.
  • In Kazakhstan, an ancient warrior’s costume made of gold more than 2000-years-old will be presented to the public.
  • The battle over the construction of a motorway through Ireland’s sacred Tara Skreen Valley continues.
  • In Russia’s Valley of Death, megaliths are protected by isolation. Sounds like the Cave of No Return — I know, because I’ve been there before.
  • Mongolia has similar megaliths (with excellent photographs).
  • Philip Coppens has an article discussing African artifacts made of gold found in an Illinois cave.
  • Missing for 55 years, the search is on for the Pedro Mountain Mummy, which could prove Arapaho and Shoshone tales of savage pygmies who lived in the Wyoming mountains. Homo Floresiensis anyone?
  • A rare, and very dead, sea creature washed up on a Perth (Australia) beach. Halellujah, this article has a photo! This’d make great sushi with the 10’000-year-old rice.
  • Japanese researchers have discovered colonies of tiny soft-bodied animals in the deepest parts of the world’s oceans.
  • Caffeine addiction is a mental disorder, according to researcher. No, trying to quit caffeine is a mental disorder. I think I’m going crazy.
  • A program is being developed that will project what you will look like in five years’ time after too much alcohol, junk food and not enough exercise. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? I’m going to rewrite the Snow White tale …
  • An American R&B singer says the devil made him poke out his eye. Listening to R&B and other McDonalds music makes me want to poke my eyes out too. In other entertainment news, Ozzie Osbourne says drugs made him have conversations with horses. No Ozzie, that was Britney Spears you were talking to.
  • Are my witty jokes making you laugh? According to an Australian scientist, laughter changes the way you see the world, quite literally.

Quote of the Day:

To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.

Lao-Tzu

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