not Cassini, just little me

You can look at my latest blog post about what I intend to do with small robots for the household here https://goo.gl/aEoei8
not that any of you will, but here, i need to advertise this stuff too.

And next...

Next I do robotics. Walking robots. I will reveal this week why my robot
legs are cheaper than other design's robot legs. Here: https://berndhs.wordpress.com

MAT AND DEMAT

https://borderlandsciences.org/project/e...

"MAT AND DEMAT", Etheric Aspects of the U.F.O., by Meade Layne, M.A.

AEROFORMS are flying discs, "saucers," mutants or indescripts, and best understood with respect to their origin and nature as being EMERGENTS: that-is, they emerge on to our plane of perception from a space-time frame of reference which is different from ours. This process may also be described as a conversion of energy and a change of vibratory rates.

That this is so is obviously suggested by the phenomena themselves; since physical matter as we know it could not withstand the speed, temperature and strain imposed by the observed operatons of the discs and other forms. This does not conflict with the apparent composition of the "landed" discs.

When the energy conversion takes place, the aeroform becomes visible and tangible. It appears to be and definitely is what we call solid substance, and so remains until the vibratory rate is again converted. The "steel" of a landed disc is an etheric steel and its copper is etheric copper — since the prototypes of all our metals exist in etheric matter; nevertheless, chemical analysis has shown certain radical differences. The conversion process amounts to materialisation and dematerialisation ("mat and demat"). "Demat," on our plane of perception, would be "mat" for any consciousness functioning on the etheric level, and vice versa.

Just as there is a spectrum of sound and of colour (ending in sounds we cannot hear and colours we cannot see), so there is also a spectrum of tangibility, ending in forms of matter which are too dense to be touched. The ordinary matter of our plane is a rarefaction, and the interspaces between the nucleus and the electrons are relatively enormous. The extremely dense matter of the ethers passes through earth substance freely and almost without friction. But if the vibratory rate of an etheric object is slowed down, it becomes less dense and enters our field of perception.

With reference to our use of the word density; this word is used in different senses by physicists and demands definition for which we cannot here afford space.

Etheric matter, on account of its density, is subject to the play of many subtle forces, including the energic activity of thought. Any form or object of which the mind can conceive can be brought into existence by mental action, and controlled by the same means. Etheric objects are in every way as "real" as those of our own world. And there is abundant experimental evidence for the control of "mind over matter" on our own plane of perception.

The foregoing paragraph applies also to the bodies of Etherian people. Our own bodies are truly made by our minds; we identify ourselves with them and control them. The Etherian makes his own body in a somewhat similar way, but quickly and easy, and makes it in any size and form he chooses. By the same principle, he can produce the form of a sphere, a cylinder, a cube, a disc or "saucer" — and any desired vibrations of colour and sound.

Whether the Etherian people are "human" or not depends entirely on one’s definition of the word human. So far as we know, they are not excarnate humans and have not lived on our planet, though often visiting it. It is a cardinal mistake to assume that their bodies, and the other ships created by them, are necessarily the same as we have seen them, when they withdraw to their own planes of existence. It is a cardinal mistake to assume that they are all of the same kind and "race," or of the same moral character and evolutionary development.

The "vehicle" of an Etherian, whether his body or his "ship" is thus essentially a thought-form (as our bodies are also) and a thought form can be positioned anywhere. The problems of space travel as we conceive them do not exist for him — as implied by the opening paragraph. By altering his vibratory rates the Disc Etherian penetrates our seas and the substance of our globe as easily as he does our atmosphere. All the aeroforms pass through each other – on occasion – and through our dwellings at will, and are (and always have been) invisibly present in great numbers.

The Etherians themselves – or entities purporting to be such – have given the following accounting: That the first step in constructing huge space craft ("mother ships" and others) is to isolate a cube of space, or ether, to a very low vibration frequency. This etheric substance is then given the desired form, and the proper equipment is placed within it, according to its proposed station and operation. This work is done mainly by mental means: the Etherians make use of machines and apparatus, but these also are etheric constructions.

Teleportation

When the "ship" is completed, it is positioned by mental means – "teleportation" – in any desired location, as, say, in the vicinity of our earth. So far, neither the ship nor any of these operations would be visible to us. But if the frequency of the etheric matter is then converted to other specific rates, the ship will, or may, become visible and tangible to our senses. But there is NO "crossing of space" involved at any time. There is simply a change of location — and this is equivalent to a change of frequency or conversion of vibratory rates.

This last principle cannot be reiterated too often. It is basic to any understanding of the whole mass of the aeroform phenomena. These huge craft may be miles in dimension, or even of planetary size — hence the feasibility of an "evacuation of the planet," if necessary.

Under what conditions these huge objects, hanging hundreds of miles overhead, are converted to a frequency rate perceptible to us is, of course, unknown. But discs and other forms discharged by the mother ships are obviously so converted, in order to operate under gravitational and magnetic conditions peculiar to our planet. Or it may be a part of the overall plan that those objects be made visible and tangible to us, as part of the education of earth people.

Interpretation

Reverting to the concept of "emergence," it may be helpful to quote the following illustration: Suppose we have a series of concentric balls, one within another like the "Chinese eggs." Call the central ball No. 1 and the others Nos. 2, 3, 4, etc. For any given point on, say, the sixth ball, there will be a corresponding spot on both the inside and the outside of ball No. 5 and of ball No. 7 — and so on all the other balls. Consider that each ball has its own vibration rate. Then, if you wish to move any object on, say, ball 6 and place it on ball 5 or 7, you simply change its vibration accordingly. The object will then be located in a new place. It will not have to "pass over" any intervening space — it simply comes into existence in a new location. A change of frequency is equivalent to a change of location.

Such a statement as "I am here" means simply that I am "tuned in" to objects, sounds, and colours of my surroundings. If this receptivity were altered so that I "tuned out," the environment would disappear, but would be replaced by a different one unless the change destroyed me. This would be a spacetime operation and a change of location without transit of space.

Contemporary distrust of the concept of the ether is unjustified and must be left to physicists who, apparently, do not read the literature of their own subject.

So far the whole mass of material on the aeroforms, with some tentative exceptions, has not produced an over-all interpretation which is at once intelligible science and sound metaphysics. Yet the interpretation reported by us and here summarised is steadily gaining ground, and we bespeak its thoughtful consideration on its own merits. It will be expanded and altered in details but it is basically correct.

As presented in the Flying Saucer Review, Vol. 1, No. 4, 1955, and innumerable reprints besides. The full explanation of the Etheric Theory of the Aeroforms is presented by Meade Layne and other Borderland Sciences Research Associates in two mimeographs: "The Ether Ship Mystery: and Its Solution" and "The Coming of the Guardians: An Interpretation of the Flying Saucers as Given from the Other Side of Life". These were later revised by Riley Crabb, who succeeded Meade Layne and continued to promote the Etheric Theory. The Crabb editions are available in our standard xerographic print format via our online cart, along with further materials in support of the BSRF-advanced 4-D hypothesis and related saucerian literature.

MAT AND DEMAT

https://borderlandsciences.org/project/e...

"MAT AND DEMAT", Etheric Aspects of the U.F.O., by Meade Layne, M.A.

AEROFORMS are flying discs, "saucers," mutants or indescripts, and best understood with respect to their origin and nature as being EMERGENTS: that-is, they emerge on to our plane of perception from a space-time frame of reference which is different from ours. This process may also be described as a conversion of energy and a change of vibratory rates.

That this is so is obviously suggested by the phenomena themselves; since physical matter as we know it could not withstand the speed, temperature and strain imposed by the observed operatons of the discs and other forms. This does not conflict with the apparent composition of the "landed" discs.

When the energy conversion takes place, the aeroform becomes visible and tangible. It appears to be and definitely is what we call solid substance, and so remains until the vibratory rate is again converted. The "steel" of a landed disc is an etheric steel and its copper is etheric copper — since the prototypes of all our metals exist in etheric matter; nevertheless, chemical analysis has shown certain radical differences. The conversion process amounts to materialisation and dematerialisation ("mat and demat"). "Demat," on our plane of perception, would be "mat" for any consciousness functioning on the etheric level, and vice versa.

Just as there is a spectrum of sound and of colour (ending in sounds we cannot hear and colours we cannot see), so there is also a spectrum of tangibility, ending in forms of matter which are too dense to be touched. The ordinary matter of our plane is a rarefaction, and the interspaces between the nucleus and the electrons are relatively enormous. The extremely dense matter of the ethers passes through earth substance freely and almost without friction. But if the vibratory rate of an etheric object is slowed down, it becomes less dense and enters our field of perception.

With reference to our use of the word density; this word is used in different senses by physicists and demands definition for which we cannot here afford space.

Etheric matter, on account of its density, is subject to the play of many subtle forces, including the energic activity of thought. Any form or object of which the mind can conceive can be brought into existence by mental action, and controlled by the same means. Etheric objects are in every way as "real" as those of our own world. And there is abundant experimental evidence for the control of "mind over matter" on our own plane of perception.

The foregoing paragraph applies also to the bodies of Etherian people. Our own bodies are truly made by our minds; we identify ourselves with them and control them. The Etherian makes his own body in a somewhat similar way, but quickly and easy, and makes it in any size and form he chooses. By the same principle, he can produce the form of a sphere, a cylinder, a cube, a disc or "saucer" — and any desired vibrations of colour and sound.

Whether the Etherian people are "human" or not depends entirely on one’s definition of the word human. So far as we know, they are not excarnate humans and have not lived on our planet, though often visiting it. It is a cardinal mistake to assume that their bodies, and the other ships created by them, are necessarily the same as we have seen them, when they withdraw to their own planes of existence. It is a cardinal mistake to assume that they are all of the same kind and "race," or of the same moral character and evolutionary development.

The "vehicle" of an Etherian, whether his body or his "ship" is thus essentially a thought-form (as our bodies are also) and a thought form can be positioned anywhere. The problems of space travel as we conceive them do not exist for him — as implied by the opening paragraph. By altering his vibratory rates the Disc Etherian penetrates our seas and the substance of our globe as easily as he does our atmosphere. All the aeroforms pass through each other – on occasion – and through our dwellings at will, and are (and always have been) invisibly present in great numbers.

The Etherians themselves – or entities purporting to be such – have given the following accounting: That the first step in constructing huge space craft ("mother ships" and others) is to isolate a cube of space, or ether, to a very low vibration frequency. This etheric substance is then given the desired form, and the proper equipment is placed within it, according to its proposed station and operation. This work is done mainly by mental means: the Etherians make use of machines and apparatus, but these also are etheric constructions.

Teleportation

When the "ship" is completed, it is positioned by mental means – "teleportation" – in any desired location, as, say, in the vicinity of our earth. So far, neither the ship nor any of these operations would be visible to us. But if the frequency of the etheric matter is then converted to other specific rates, the ship will, or may, become visible and tangible to our senses. But there is NO "crossing of space" involved at any time. There is simply a change of location — and this is equivalent to a change of frequency or conversion of vibratory rates.

This last principle cannot be reiterated too often. It is basic to any understanding of the whole mass of the aeroform phenomena. These huge craft may be miles in dimension, or even of planetary size — hence the feasibility of an "evacuation of the planet," if necessary.

Under what conditions these huge objects, hanging hundreds of miles overhead, are converted to a frequency rate perceptible to us is, of course, unknown. But discs and other forms discharged by the mother ships are obviously so converted, in order to operate under gravitational and magnetic conditions peculiar to our planet. Or it may be a part of the overall plan that those objects be made visible and tangible to us, as part of the education of earth people.

Interpretation

Reverting to the concept of "emergence," it may be helpful to quote the following illustration: Suppose we have a series of concentric balls, one within another like the "Chinese eggs." Call the central ball No. 1 and the others Nos. 2, 3, 4, etc. For any given point on, say, the sixth ball, there will be a corresponding spot on both the inside and the outside of ball No. 5 and of ball No. 7 — and so on all the other balls. Consider that each ball has its own vibration rate. Then, if you wish to move any object on, say, ball 6 and place it on ball 5 or 7, you simply change its vibration accordingly. The object will then be located in a new place. It will not have to "pass over" any intervening space — it simply comes into existence in a new location. A change of frequency is equivalent to a change of location.

Such a statement as "I am here" means simply that I am "tuned in" to objects, sounds, and colours of my surroundings. If this receptivity were altered so that I "tuned out," the environment would disappear, but would be replaced by a different one unless the change destroyed me. This would be a spacetime operation and a change of location without transit of space.

Contemporary distrust of the concept of the ether is unjustified and must be left to physicists who, apparently, do not read the literature of their own subject.

So far the whole mass of material on the aeroforms, with some tentative exceptions, has not produced an over-all interpretation which is at once intelligible science and sound metaphysics. Yet the interpretation reported by us and here summarised is steadily gaining ground, and we bespeak its thoughtful consideration on its own merits. It will be expanded and altered in details but it is basically correct.

As presented in the Flying Saucer Review, Vol. 1, No. 4, 1955, and innumerable reprints besides. The full explanation of the Etheric Theory of the Aeroforms is presented by Meade Layne and other Borderland Sciences Research Associates in two mimeographs: "The Ether Ship Mystery: and Its Solution" and "The Coming of the Guardians: An Interpretation of the Flying Saucers as Given from the Other Side of Life". These were later revised by Riley Crabb, who succeeded Meade Layne and continued to promote the Etheric Theory. The Crabb editions are available in our standard xerographic print format via our online cart, along with further materials in support of the BSRF-advanced 4-D hypothesis and related saucerian literature.

The Headlines Never Change

The headline from October 2016. Sound familiar?
"Russia Prepares for Nuclear War"

http://www.inquisitr.com/3619312/russia-...

"In the last few weeks, such reports have grown increasingly ominous. Not only has state-controlled media pushed stories of nuclear war preparedness, such as going so far as to ask if citizens knew where the nearest bomb shelter was located, but Russian President Vladimir Putin himself went on national television to advise people to obtain gas masks and scout out their nearest nuclear shelter."

The Daily Beast reported this week that at least one Russian official believes tensions between the United States and Russia are so heightened that it would take very little to set off a major military altercation. Sergei Markov, a member of the Civic Chamber (a government oversight and consultative institution in Moscow), fears World War 3 might start soon.

“These are the most serious tensions between Moscow and Washington in decades. The war might begin even before the November elections in the U.S.”

"It Was A Thumb Drive, Stupid"

This brouhaha quit being about the hapless, deranged Trump a long time ago - it has become entirely about a mainstream media demonstrating that it can create whatever fake news reality suits its masters if it just keeps on repeating inane things and studiously omitting important things.

These new forensics findings described below should by rights be given equal time in the Globalist Kabuki Theater. I doubt we will hear a peep on the TeeVee. That we should still even be having to discuss the "hack" of a ridiculously unguarded string of servers, cell phones, and blackberries in the first place - probably a long line of B-grade hackers were feasting on the DNC network before Seth Rich ever stuck a thumb drive in it - just shows you what an enormous waste of time and taxpayers' money this has all been.
The latest chatter about Russian "emoluments" and the like means that Mueller should be impaneling about another 350 grand juries for the purpose of prosecuting the state of Israel for tampering with the US elections via perks, payouts, bribes, threats,and blackmail.

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-08-10...

"A speed of 22.7 megabytes is simply unobtainable, especially if we are talking about a transoceanic data transfer,” Folden said. “Based on the data we now have, what we’ve been calling a hack is impossible.” Last week Forensicator reported on a speed test he conducted more recently. It tightens the case considerably. “Transfer rates of 23 MB/s (Mega Bytes per second) are not just highly unlikely, but effectively impossible to accomplish when communicating over the Internet at any significant distance,” he wrote. “Further, local copy speeds are measured, demonstrating that 23 MB/s is a typical transfer rate when using a USB–2 flash device (thumb drive).”

"Time stamps in the metadata provide further evidence of what happened on July 5. The stamps recording the download indicate that it occurred in the Eastern Daylight Time Zone at approximately 6:45 pm. This confirms that the person entering the DNC system was working somewhere on the East Coast of the United States. In theory the operation could have been conducted from Bangor or Miami or anywhere in between—but not Russia, Romania, or anywhere else outside the EDT zone. Combined with Forensicator’s findings on the transfer rate, the time stamps constitute more evidence that the download was conducted locally, since delivery overheads—conversion of data into packets, addressing, sequencing times, error checks, and the like—degrade all data transfers conducted via the Internet, more or less according to the distance involved."
In addition, there is the adulteration of the documents Guccifer 2.0 posted on June 15, when he made his first appearance. This came to light when researchers penetrated what Folden calls Guccifer’s top layer of metadata and analyzed what was in the layers beneath. They found that the first five files Guccifer made public had each been run, via ordinary cut-and-paste, through a single template that effectively immersed them in what could plausibly be cast as Russian fingerprints. They were not: The Russian markings were artificially inserted prior to posting. “It’s clear,” another forensics investigator self-identified as HET, wrote in a report on this question, “that metadata was deliberately altered and documents were deliberately pasted into a Russianified [W]ord document with Russian language settings and style headings.

Behind the ICA lie other indefensible realities. The FBI has never examined the DNC’s computer servers—an omission that is beyond preposterous. It has instead relied on the reports produced by Crowdstrike, a firm that drips with conflicting interests well beyond the fact that it is in the DNC’s employ. Dmitri Alperovitch, its co-founder and chief technology officer, is on the record as vigorously anti-Russian. He is a senior fellow at the Atlantic Council, which suffers the same prejudice. Problems such as this are many."

"The cost of duplicity has never been so high."

My Blogging Index

As we approach the upcoming TDG site metamorphosis, I decided to do an inventory of my blogs. Some of the content has been moved over to my own web site, because Greg may not allow posting and editing of member blogs after the update.

Teotihuacan City of the Gods
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Magic Brick in Tut's Treasury
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Vulture Stone at Gobekli Tepe
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Who Built the Moon Reviewed
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Divining Planet 9: Twice Baked
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Simcha Back At It For Easter
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Graham Hancock's Magicians of the Gods Updated
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Great Pyramid Forgery (Revisited)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

NASA Unexplained Files (Revisted)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Star Talk
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Bones-upon-Bones: The Missing Mummy of Akhenaten
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Historical Basis of King Arthur
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Tut Recycled Nefertiti's Death Mask
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Back to Back to the Future
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Mayan Calendar Party Time?
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Dark Psychology of Trolling and Astroturfing
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Je Suis Charlie
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Discovery Channel to Stop Airing Hoax Documentaries
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

2014 Top-Picks SciFi-Vibes
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Strip the Biblical Conspiracies: Crucifixion
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Surviving the Exodus Movie
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Strip the Cosmos: Mars Episode
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Strip the Cosmos (New Series on the Science Channel)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Tomb of Someone Related to Alexander at Amphipolis
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

2017: Year the Grail
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

2014: Year the Binary Star System
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Apocryphal Joseph and Asenath, Grail-Literature
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

New Season of Ancient Aliens: The Sphinx Episode
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Lost Art of Resurrection: Freddy-Silva (2014)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Alexander the Great and the Grail Tradition
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Irons Kai: The First Four Minutes of Edward Stafford
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Atlantis Above and Below (Part 1)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Atlantis Above and Below (Part 2)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Atlantis Above and Below (Part 3)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Kofels Impact Event
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Tut (DNA) Report
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Funny Money Bail Out Humor
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

The Limits of Control (Film Review)
http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/Charles-...

Letting the Flowers Look Back

"The owner of the dog said to the dog, “I don’t know why I keep talking to you. You can’t talk.” And underneath it said, “Well I know 150 words, but it’s true I can’t talk.”

http://realitysandwich.com/321935/lettin...

Is Frodo Baggins A Hero?

Over the last few nights I re-watched the Lord of the Rings. Peter Jackson's now-classic films of Tolkien's famous trilogy are always a delight to sit through. Fair warning, though: I've not read the books upon which the movies are based. Or rather, I've not read all of them.

The first in the trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, took a year for me to get through. If allowed a brief moment of literary blasphemy, the reason for this is I found Tolkien's style not to my liking and the story altogether long-winded. To add to his verbosity Tolkien quite unnecessarily included a good many songs that particularly grated upon my patience. I hardly need say, then, I did not attempt reading the other two volumes. Therefore, these comments of mine are based upon the Peter Jackson films alone.

It may elude one's notice upon the first viewing (or even the fourth) that Frodo Baggins contributes little to the fellowship of nine. If pressed, I would have to concede that Frodo's solving the riddle above the door to the Mines of Moria, thus granting his friends access, is the only moment in which he does anything helpful.

Apart from this singular instance Frodo is essentially a glorified strong box which must be carried—and upon one occasion this was literally the case—from point A to point B. But he's not very good in this capacity either, for Boromir at one stage, due to Frodo's carelessness, lays his own hands upon the ring, and in another our would-be hero freely offers the ring to Galadriel. However, those around Frodo—Gandalf, Samwise, Boromir, Aragorn, and others—act with all the valor and heroism a lover of heroic fantasy could hope for. But Frodo himself seems little more than a blundering tourist on this harrowing adventure across Middle Earth, a tourist who must be saved at nearly every turn.

Perhaps the most stinging slap to the face of his comrades is the fact that once he and Sam reach Mount Doom, and after everyone's sacrifice, Frodo succumbs to the wiles of the ring. Poised above the fiery depths below he impishly declares, “The ring is mine!” And although the ring is ultimately destroyed, its destruction came about only by accident, when Gollum leapt upon the invisible Frodo, tussled over the ring of power, and the pair of them tumbled off the ledge. Ring in hand, Gollum plummets toward the molten lake, but is so enamored of the artifact that he's completely oblivious that he falls to his death.

One has to wonder, too, at the cold, shameful reality of this final act of weakness. Frodo must surely have felt a keen sense of fraudulence while receiving a hero's welcome by the remaining members of the fellowship, and others. Knowing all the while that Sam bore witness to the entire episode and knew the truth only too well. We cannot blame Frodo, then, for departing with the elves for an unknown land; a place where he would not be confronted by his crushing failures mirrored daily in the face of Samwise, a perpetual reminder that when it mattered most Frodo fell short. This is hardly a hero's answer, though, is it?—running away. For Frodo knows in his heart that he was tested and found wanting, that in the end he failed to rise to the occasion.

There is no escaping that very personal truth.

Which leads me back to my original question: is Frodo a hero? He is a protagonist, certainly. But a hero? If we answer yes, then let me ask this: in light of this admittedly unconventional perspective wherein Frodo does nothing heroic, how then do we justify labeling him a hero?

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Accidents (ZAMA)

Zen.
Zen can be described as a religion that questions life and philosophises on the answers. For example, the well known saying ‘shit happens’ becomes in Zen parlance, ‘what is the sound of shit happening?’ If you are a biker, then you will already know the answer to this.

The Motorcycle.
Now many of you will think that the prime function of a motorcycle is to transport the rider from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’, but you would be wrong. The prime function of a motorcycle (and scooters and mopeds - if you insist) is to keep the rider from contacting the road surface.

And before you question this key statement, consider that the only people who willingly come in to contact with the surface beneath them at speed are skiers, ice skaters and snowboarders and such like. All the rest of us thrive on keeping out of contact with the surface beneath them, especially given the ground is not moving and you are. Do you follow me so far?

Another profound fact is that every motorcycle rider will have an accident: these can range from a simple dropping the bike when trying to start it, putting the stand up or down, stopping adjacent to a hole in the road surface through to the more advanced options such as a ‘highsider’ or everyone’s favourite, the ‘T Bone’ …

Motorcycles come in all shapes and sizes, some with engines as small as 50cc and other with 1500cc engines pushing them along. But at the end of the day, when a bike stops performing its prime function of keeping you from contact with the road surface, you will get a close up and personal introduction to asphalt. Much can be said about asphalt but in the end it all comes down to the fact that asphalt does not give you a soft landing at either 10mph or 70mph, nor does it lessen the impact if you descend from a humble moped or a super bike.

However asphalt is fashion conscious: it just loves the intimacy of casual clothes such as T Shirts, shorts and flip-flops but has a distain for the likes leather boots and trousers, Kevlar gloves, heavy duty jackets, reinforced knee and elbow pads. Crash helmets are compulsory in the UK but then again, asphalt does so much prefer the open face design, these are so accommodating when the opportunity for a quick, over in a flash, full on, intimate asphalt kiss presents itself.

Accidents.
It has been said you should never trust a motorcycle that has a higher horsepower than your I.Q, because at the end of the day, you know who is going to end up in control. Note: many motorcycles have a power output in excess of 140 hp... Seriously, a motorcycle can and will kill you if you do not respect it.

So given the number one rule of motor biking – you will have an accident – the following will be of interest to those of you yet to experience their first fall from grace, and for all you veterans to compare notes.

Our fickle friend, asphalt, is just an arm’s length away from you as you ride your motorcycle and for the most part, it performs its duty and helps you safely on your way. But on occasions, asphalt has to cope with outside influences, such rain or ice, or man-made concoctions such as diesel fuel. On these occasions, asphalt simply lies back and says, ‘let the rider beware…’

If one doesn’t beware, then the result will typically be a ‘low-side’ crash where the bike loses traction on the asphalt and slides out from under the rider. This type of accident can be a good introduction to
ZAMA in that one’s pride often is more hurt than oneself, and the motorcycle can be relatively cheaply repaired. And you learn the first law of ZAMA, motorbike accidents are noisy affairs, your pride and joys sliding down the road on its side, with you alongside, make fingernails on blackboards seem a mere trifle.

The opposite of a low-side accident is the much more entertaining ‘high-side’ which strangely can have nothing to do with our dear friend the asphalt, but with the rider. In a high-side situation, the rider exits the bike in a fast and upward trajectory. The reasons for a high-side can be from sudden impact with another road user, or rider’s error. e.g. rider is doing 70mph when the rear tire loses grip, then regains it. The motorcycle experiences a sudden input of energy and reacts accordingly. Unless the rider is experienced in riding bucking broncos, the result will be rider and motorcycle parting company.

Then there are the ‘Self-inflicted’: pulling a wheelie, doing a stoppie, burning a donut.

Shit Happens
‘Shit Happens’ is a popular mantra and maybe you are religious and feel that your God will look after you when you are out riding on your bike… So what are the options for a caring God?

TAOISM Shit Happens
ZEN What is the sound of Shit Happening?
HARE KRISHINA Shit Happens, Rama, Rama, Ding Dong.
HINDUISM This Shit Happened Before
ISLAM If Shit Happens, Take a Hostage
BUDDHISM When Shit Happens, is it really Shit?
CONFUCIANISM Confucius Say, Shit Happens
7th DAY ADVENTIST Shit Happens on Saturday
PROTESTANTISM Shit won’t happen if I work harder
CATHOLICISM If Shit Happens, I deserve it
JEHOVAH’S WITNESS Knock, Knock, Shit Happens
UNITARIAN What is this Shit?
MORMON Shit Happens Again & Again & Again…
UDAISM Why does this Shit Always Happen to Me?
RASTAFARIAN Let’s Smoke this Shit

Other Road Users to be wary of.
The Motorist
When emerging from a junction, or turning right, a motorist has little acceleration and is forced to take chances, especially on busy roads. However on a motorbike, you have speed and acceleration that will let you meeting other such drivers when they least expect it.

Long gone are the days of ‘leisure motoring’ and it is now congestion all the way; the other lane is always travelling faster than the one the motorists is in, so motorists constantly change lanes. Bikers on the other hand can legally ‘filter’ between lanes and of course this brings them into conflict the motorists.

Pedestrians and Pedal Cyclists
Both of these suffer from low rates of acceleration and have to take chances when on the highway. A biker’s ability to both access spaces cars cannot, to accelerate faster than a tortoise and in comparative quietness, through unseen gaps gives you the biker endless opportunities to collide with both.

Parting company with your bike.
The majority of journeys undertaken on your motorbike will cause you at least one shake of the head, a muffled curse, maybe a shout or gesture at another road user. Zen likes loud motorbikes but the law of the land doesn’t. So as a biker, you will creep up quietly on other poor road users who often wonder why they have little mirrors on the cars. And don’t forget, motorbikes are not only very quiet, they are also invisible to other road users. And cars have the ability to change direction suddenly and unexpectedly.

So a fellow road user fails to drive correctly, the road surface has problems, or your motorbike doesn’t quite perform as it does on your game console, then you will take part in ‘Zen and the art of Motorbike Accidents’

Zen Philosophy
When faced with a difficult choice you neither make it nor don’t make it. As Zen teaching has it, try to await the condition of being ‘choicelessly aware’. At some point, the choice ‘just happens’, in the same way that your breathing ‘just happens’, when you’re not thinking about it. Let your brain do the work without interference, just as you let your liver or your heart do their jobs without interference.

Don’t let your ego (your centre of conscious reflection) get in the way. In other words, you trust your unconscious to make the choice for you. Nature is not always to be trusted, but it is a better bet than so called ‘rational action’ for it contains a wisdom that is far deeper than reason.

If you think too much about a choice, it is bound to go up shit creek. And you will not have a paddle anywhere to hand. So when you inevitably have that accident on your motorbike, what happens next is not a matter of reason, but only of courage, and faith.

The initial ‘accident’
If you are lucky there will be no warning - there is nothing worse than seeing yourself heading inexorably towards a collision or a parting of the ways with your bike. There will be a moment, a clichéd slow-motion firing of all your synapses as you realise, "Shit this is going to hurt…”

There are usually 2 scenarios. Both you and the bike stop abruptly. Usually this is the end of the story.

Bike stops abruptly, you do not. It's like being superman and its great whilst it lasts - which is not very long. It usually starts with a loud bang as your bike makes contact with something that should not be there and is quickly followed by the flying section for either a few feet or in some cases, many feet. But before you can fully enjoy this unusual sensation, gravity kicks in and quickly brings you back down to earth where you then indulge in the sliding and rolling part of the process and once you come to a complete rest, you then experience the “oh-my-god-the-pain” part.

The Fall.
Normally this is from a height no greater than chest height and so in itself is not a problem. If you have time, aim to miss the ground or to glide a little before contact. If this is not an option, try to roll rather that putting out a hand to deflect the inevitable impact. This stage brings on the first hint of pain.

Deceleration.
Once contact has been made with the ground, basic science rules take over. You will still initially have the same speed and direction of travel as you had whilst in the air. Speed is best lost by sliding, though sliding will involve an exchange of energy or its conversion into something else. Best case scenario is that you are wearing leathers, or a Kevlar reinforced jacket and trousers, with similar gloves and boots, and the exchange of forward motion to full stop will be a less painful experience. However if you are wearing jeans and a T shirt, with bare hands and trainers, then the cessation of momentum will involve a heavy price in the way of shredded clothing, quickly followed by shredded living flesh.

Now the above assumes you are not wearing a rucksack - which in the event of an unintentional dismount, will impart a semi-random change in direction of your body once contact has been made with the ground. The downside of this is that one can become airborne again, albeit briefly, and so have so to through the whole process of contacting the ground once more. In addition, the induced tumbling generated by the rucksack will bring arms and legs into play though they will have difficulty in keeping up with the body and so be liable to much waving about and breakages.

So choose your own level of pain.

The Stop.
Ideally this is achieved through friction on soft, flat, stone-free grass as found on the edges of race tracks. Even if your accident takes place in the nice countryside, hedges are not soft: hedges in the countryside are not made of soft Privet, instead farmers use all sorts of foliage that invariably contains thorns and spike of various descriptions as they are primarily used to keep livestock contained within (and ‘townies’ out).

As lush grass strips invariably are not available at the side of roads, the unfortunate biker has to use the asphalt to slow down and in built-up areas, whatever street furniture is available, such as lamp posts, kerb-stones, pillar boxes, parked vehicles, garden fences, give-way signs and worst of all, traffic heading towards you.

Oh, and your motorbike may or may not land on top of you.

Any of these will introduce you to one of the bodies defence mechanisms - pain! But don’t despair, pain is good, it tells you are alive, that you have feeling at least somewhere in your body.

The aftermath.
The truth is Shit Happens – you just have to get used to it. And despite all those ‘I’m so sorry, it was all my fault, I didn’t see you, don’t’ worry, our insurances will sort it all out’ assurances you are given whilst bleeding and in pain at the side of the road, it will all change in a very short space of time.

As a biker, you were obviously speeding, riding like a lunatic, ignoring road conditions, having no regard for other road users, you didn’t signal, you didn’t look, have your lights on, give way, you overtook when you shouldn’t have as it was obvious that I was turning/pulling out/parking/on my phone/checking my hair/lighting a fag . Oh and you bikers are all the same!

Your motorbike will have suffered a lot of damage cosmetically, so the ensuing claim will be extensive. And of course there will be your injuries. Hopefully you will not be one of the many ‘Donorbikers’ that contribute so much to the UK’s transplant services and that you are able to pursue your claim for damages.

Even if you have a helmet or bike camera, you are still in for a rough ride as invariably the more damage to you, the more of a fight with the other party you will have. The other party will lie, deny, and pull every trick in the book to dismiss you and your case as ‘just another biker blaming a motorist’. Even with camera footage, the 3rd party will look for a way out or a way to reduce your claim.

In conclusion
As a biker you will have an accident. It may be minor, or it may be life changing. It may be your own fault, or that of another, but it will happen, it is part of riding a motorbike. The only way to educate drivers about bikers is to make riding a bike part of the driving test for all car drivers. Once would be car drivers have been out in everyday traffic on two wheels, they will have a much better idea of what it is like to be a biker.

Remember, 'Ride like no one can see you, and the ones that do see you are trying to run over you'