A new and very unique form of `Martial Art` was created, completely by accident, this week in our village. As usual I took the sproglets to their weekly Scottish Country Dancing class in the village hall- a very traditional affair with the customary matronly lady dressed in tweeds bellowing out instructions and counting time to a gaggle of distracted 3-6 year olds who are more interested in how loud they can stomp on the dance floor and when snacktime is..
Sheila (the Matronly-Tweed-Lady) does a wonderful job with the wee darlings and commands the class with military precision (she uses a combination of fear and the promise of choccy biscuits).
This week the class ran slightly late and at 7 o`clock the doors burst open and the Roslin & District Under 10`s Karate class decended upon us! All hell broke loose- it was Karate Kids in Kilts..
The junior Scottish country Dancing Class and Junior Karate had overlapped and merged to form a seething mass of crazed, uncontrollable Evil Pixie Monsters.
It was at this point that the new form of martial art was born, combining the steps and formations of such Scottish Celidh classics as `The Dashing White Sergeant` with the defensive moves of
`The Fighting Serpents` and `The Death Kick`. I can not describe the fearsome, pant-wetting sight of sugar-deprived kiddies charging at you, fists flailing, kilts swirling, yelling `HeyAHH! The Noo!`
It was some fearsum hoolie...Cultures collided, knees were grazed and Sheila needed a medicinal sherry..
Village Character of the Week:
The Wallaces Cave Man.
In a rock face in the towering sandstone cliffs of Roslin Glen is a well known cave known as Wallaces cave - so called because William Wallace and his men are supposed to have hidden in it to evade capture.
There are a few folk brave enough to clamber down the steep and dangerous rock face to explore the cave
but recently we have had a resident Cave Man who has been living in the cave for a week or so at a time. Those who have visited him in the cave say he`s a rather scruffy, bearded man of the `confused-but-happy` variety who seems quite sober, doesn`t say alot and has a large collection of milk bottles.
Probably an eccentric millionaire who needs to escape the rat-race now & again and goes to the cave to `find his happy place`.