This weekend I have a big festival coming up and there is a chance it will be rained out. Sadly I need it for income so it’s totally bumming me out, or at least it was until I read this post on Yahoo answers. For those of us who can’t just call up HAARP and ask them to stop the rain, there’s options. This is why you don’t search for forecasts on ixquick kids 😛
[quote=]How to stop the rain?
My plans is cancelled because of the rain. how can i stop it??
Best Answer: Ahhh, rain that is one of the evilest curses laid upon us…
Here are a few steps to stop the rain that i have learned.
1) Sacrifice something close to you to the rain goddess to please her
If that doesn’t work then do this
2) Sacrifice a animal or human on an altar and burn the meat and bones in a open pit fire, add sapphire crystals which symbolize the rain
If that STILL doesn’t work… this method has always worked
3) Preform the ceremonial rain dance…
a) Put on a specially painted mask that bears the colors Blue, Red, Black, And White
b) Put on a some form of bear fur, MAKE SURE ITS GENUINE
c) Apply rooster semen to your hands in 3 parallel lines on center of your palm
d) Create a fire at least 3 feet wide
e) Dance around the fire in an open area hopping on your feet in this order R-L-R-R-R-L-R&L-L-L Repeatedly for about 10 revolutions around the fire
f) Be sure to sing guttural tones between low E flat and mid C Sharp while doing so in step 3e
g) Burn 3 Palm Tree leaves soaked in water for 5 minutes
h) Watch the rain go away in about 30 Sec [/quote]
Really a great answer though I hope the kid asking the question didn’t take this seriously. If so which one did he choose to do? I think I’ll stick to praying to the sky gods for now…as I lack a rooster…