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News Briefs 08-02-2005

My third eye needs a good squeedgee-clean…

Thanks Pam.


Quote of the Day:

He who confronts the paradoxical exposes himself to reality.

Friedrich Durrenmatt

Editor
  1. Enterprise Cancelled
    Seeing the link about ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ being cancelled just evoked a long and loud “Nooooooooo! Not now!” from me, followed by a prodigious string of curse words — words which it’s going to take a considerable effort to omit here, since I’d really rather start this rant with, “Those sorry s.o.b.s,” and then go on to tell you how I really feel…

    Those first-year scripts were so bad the show didn’t deserve it, but woth hopes that it might eventually turn into something worth watching, I made the necessary herculean effort to stick with it. And in spite of what seemed like terrible odds against those hopes panning out, my effort was rewarded. Sure enough, year two was a considerable improvement, and year 3 started out at good and kept getting better from there. So of course, now that it’s finally hit it’s stride in year four, the bloody fng idiots at the network have gone and cancelled it. Since they’re the ones who approved those first-year milk-toast scripts that drove away legions of potential fans, they should be the ones getting fired. Either they should have replaced that whole incompetent writing team the first year, or put it out of it’s misery entirely, at a time when no one would give a damn. But noooooo, they had to wait til it was just getting really good to pull the plug. Good thing I can’t get at ’em right now, ’cause if I could, I’d smack each and every one of those bumbling network execs up side the head with a 2-by-4 to get their attention, and then deliver this rant up-close and personal. For starters, after referrentially delineating their mothers’ personal short-comings, I’d vehemently tell those popsicle-smacking illegitimate dimwits that, contrary to their perfunctory pledge to “rap up the series in a way that will satisfy all it’s fans”, Nooooooo, they won’t be able to do that! — because there’s absolutely nothing they can come up with that won’t be tainted by my loathing of them.

    An Unhappy Kat

    1. Well done Kat!!!!!!!!!
      That’s the best rant I’ve heard in years.
      Well done!!!!!!
      Can I use some of it next time I get really angry?
      I like the smacking upside the head with the 2 by 4 best.

      shadows

      1. I’ve recovered a little
        To get myself back in a better mood, I just emailed Leon, the author of the hoopsnake (and lion-eating mule) story, a link to Rico’s sea serpent photo — along with my theory that it might possibly be an aquatic hoopsnake. 😉

        The 2-by-4 to the head tactic has always been highly touted in the south as the primo method for getting someone’s attention, but I really did have a boyfriend once who actually had to do that, on a regular basis, to his father’s prized brahma bull, Preacher. It was the only way to get that huge sucker to stop nosily – and perilously – tossing his 5 foot wide rack of horns around the bed of the pick-up while he was trying to unload hay for him.

        Am I from the country, or what? 😉

        Kat

        1. hoop snake
          The hoop snake story is what Aussies traditionally tell the visitors to this country.Be wary of the hoop snake…they say…you won’t even see it, it just bowls up and gets you.
          I love the lion-eating mule story.
          Any bull story makes me nervous.I lived with cattle all around me for years and couldn’t get used to them.
          I am surprised that a 2 by 4 was big enough for a bull.Your boyfriend must have been very gentle.
          See, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

          shadows

          1. explanation of scale
            >>I am surprised that a 2 by 4 was big enough for a bull.

            Well, a 2-by-4 is a wooden beam most frequently used in the construction of houses — and they’re 4 inches wide, 2 inches thick, and 8 feet long, only in this case, it had been cut down to 6 feet long so it would fit in the bed of the truck. And my friend had to be standing in the bed of the pick-up in order to whomp that 6 foot tall bull with it, and even then it barely made a dent, attention-wise. One day when Preacher was being especially annoying, it took 5 whomps on the head, the last being a desperate full strength assault, to get Preacher to move those deadly horns out of the way. On that 5th whomp, Preacher finally looked up at Jimmy, sighed with resignation, and backed up two steps. That’s the only time I ever saw any indication from him that he even knen humans existed.

            Average Brahman bulls will weigh from 1,600 to 2,200 pounds, but I’ve never seen the likes of Preacher, who was a huge grayish white animal, standing 5 feet tall at just his shoulders, not the hump, each horn over two feet long and much thicker than my arm, and sloping up at about a 40 degree angle from his head before the last 18 inches of it curved straight out; and, even though I’m 5′, 7″, those horns towered over my head. I tried to find a photo of a similar looking beast on google, but couldn’t find anything even close. Judging from my memories, he could have been a mutant (whose mother probably died giving birth to him!) as well as having a few longhorn genes.

            The country in the girl — yeah, I still miss my dad’s vegetable garden — and my gran’s cooking!

            Kat

          2. living dangerously
            In Australia they dehorn the bulls.
            My neighbour had a brahman stud and they were gentle creatures, mostly hand-fed, until one day a bull turned on her in the holding yard and lifted her over the rails.
            She was bruised from one end to the other.
            I think they are beautiful animals but I’d say a bull would win any fight with a human.

            shadows

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