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darkness in my world

Posted by argosfalcon at 08:14, 27 Jan 2012

I do miss my mountains and that strange beauty of the deserts I had spent so much of my life. being told that nothing more can be done for me,and as I lose the use of my legs I have been filled with memories of what I saw during the tornado. I fear to place in words, so filled with despair I felt my life was over and wanted to take what only action I could. But it seems like all things in life you can be effected by the random and so here I am. Still searching for a path and the means to express it. So could my old cameras be that way, at the extreme range of of ability to walk is a small ranch, and maybe my love of horses the that natural world I may find some meaning and a way to soften the scenes that still leave a hole in my heart, if I could fade the memory of a family torn apart in the tornado, the saving of a few lives a to hold the hand of a woman who's husband we could not save, and all my words of comfort seemed so hollow. there must be more to this every day life so balanced on the knifes edge. There must be more and have only touched its out edge.

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I really feel for you, argosfalcon
#1
Kathrinn's picture
Member since:
10 August 2004
Last activity:
4 days 7 hours
Posted by Kathrinn on 30 Jan 2012 at about 10:58.

I know you have been through many traumas in the last few years and have struggled to find a place where you could again feel a measure of belonging. Memories of places can be something very rich, even if you cannot be in those places any more, so take your memory there often and find the beauty and comfort they offer.

This tornado you speak of seems to have been a terrible experience for you - please don't dwell on it too much. It happened and there isn't anything you can do to change that. Be grateful for the help you were able to offer those around you and take comfort knowing you did all you could at the time.

I wish you peace. Best regards, Kathrinn

I have no inkling of what you
#2
emlong's picture
Member since:
18 September 2007
Last activity:
3 hours 56 min
Posted by emlong on 03 Feb 2012 at about 06:12.

I have no inkling of what you must be going through. It frightens me to think one's world could be turned so topsy turvy in just a few moments. I have no idea how I would act because it would so transform me that I cannot imagine the person I would be emerging on the other side. Thank you for not holding back with us and for not sugarcoating it.

Thank you
#3
argosfalcon's picture
Member since:
31 August 2004
Last activity:
7 weeks 19 hours
Posted by argosfalcon on 26 Feb 2012 at about 00:01.

It is a comfort to know I helped save 7 out of the 8 rescues, the look in the eyes of the wife of the man we could not save will both haunt me and yet she seemed to have a strange peace we had tried to save her husband of 40 years and unlike so many in that event she could lay him to rest.

—

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time