Give the new Pope advice
Posted by Terrence at 17:50, 03 May 2005Okay everyone, this is your chance to give the new pope, Benedict XVI (formerly Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger) some advice.
The question is: What should the new pope do to make a real difference in the world?
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4 May 2004
5 years 33 weeks
After standing up and kneeling 20 times during the service, a man needs to replenish his internal energy supplies. A little wafer and a smidgen of holy wine just don't cut it. So I think that we need to have a moon pie sized wafer or maybe just a moon pie instead of the standard dry tasteless wafer, and a nice liter of wine to wash it down with. It would put church back onto the list of 'must do' things for a Sunday. And the pews need to more comfortable. Thanks.
24 June 2004
4 years 35 weeks
The whole basis of the Catholic Church is not what they can do for you but what you can do for them.
If they really want to help the world they would open the Vatican Archives to Bill Gates and make him responsible for putting everything on computer.
Then donate the Vatican and its treasures to Italy for a museum to the stupidity of man.
After this they would move all those free-loaders in the Vatican to a little run-down hall with bare floors somewhere and run the church from there,acting in the real spirit of their founder.
All the pretty dress the cardinals etc wear could be put into a garment hire shop.
But we all know this is the real world, so expect women to be bounced from any jobs they now have in the church,and the ultra right-wing pope to take the church further back into the dark ages of history.
I expect burning at the stake for heretics to begin shortly.
shadows
30 April 2004
2 hours 37 min
The Vatican *and* Bill Gates. Now that's scary.
I could think of oh, a million other people I'd rather have in the Vatican archives than good old Billy Boy. What if he blue-screened the archives?
Peace and Respect
Greg
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You monkeys only think you're running things
24 June 2004
4 years 35 weeks
I saw a terrific April Fools' Day joke once that Microsoft had bought the Catholic Church.It worked well too.
After all they are both monopolies.
Both have loony leaders.
Nothing that they sell actually works.
Both have a history of destroying the opposition.
In my scenario Gates would have to use his money to put the archives out there for the public.
Not like what happened with the Dead Sea Scrolls.
But I'm just a dreamer.And dreams don't come true.
shadows
1 May 2004
6 weeks 1 day
Hi Shadows,
Some dreams do manifest, but we're asked for some free advice to the new pope, therein lies the first hurdle - free advice, how can it have any value in this day and age.
The last pope did some repentance, however not nearly enough. Therefor this pope should denounce all the material possesions currently held by the vatican, close that criminal enterprise called the vatican bank. Offer control of the vatican- and its treasures to the united nations. Run the church and dioces solely on donations- in short return to the essential- the spiritual guidance task.
The nasty elements inside and attached to the church would disengage in no time, eliminating the need for a painful purging. Well so much for 'donated'advice.
On a more realistic level this pope would be well adviced not to start a war within,( the jesuits and opus dei). Not only would his opus dei friends loose , and be put on a fast track of eternal damnation, the framework of the church itself would collapse. Consider too, how many parties in the world would like to see that happen, and assist the shakers.
" do unto others as you would have them do unto you "
1 June 2004
49 weeks 3 days
Require his celebate holy men to confess to their sins, record it and place it on public record. Lie detectors will be needed.
The next step will come automatically. The Vatican and its treasures will have to be sold off to pay the child maintenance arrears.
Wonder what last name all these kiddies will use? Benedict sounds good.
AAiek