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News Briefs 18-01-2006

So glad to see you. I’ve missed you so much…

Thanks Baldrick.

Quote of the Day:

We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

Robert Wilensky

Editor
  1. Dr Zahi Hawass sent to the US for eye surgery,
    “Dr Zahi Hawass sent to the US for eye surgery, possibly due to a stone falling on his head.”

    Which stone fell on his head? O, probably Keef falling out a tree again!

  2. Giant banana over Texas
    Sounds like a fun idea, however, I have thought of something that could be potentially lethal with this little “ruse”.

    They say that it might stay up there for a month or so – if there are any astronauts performing space walks (or EVAs) during that time, is there a danger they could have a nasty slip up on this? How about people on the ground – once the thing starts to deflate and descend, someone could slip on that and bruise their elbow – or something.

    Frankly, it’s just darn reckless.

    yer ol’ pal,

    Xibalba
    (This post was brought to you by “Realm of the Dead”)

    1. Is that a banana in your skies, or are you just happy to see me?
      A giant banana!

      OMG, it’s a SIGN, a SIGN as prophesized long ago, a SIGN in the SKY, they said, even Nostra Damn Us spoke of it, the SIGN of the COMING, the COMING of the MONKEY MESSIAH!!

      Can it be true? The day is at hand, I tell you, the day is at HAND and that HAND has a POSABLE THUMB. This is the time spoken of in the PROPHESIES.

      Did I mention the SIGN?

      Whatever, be watchful, for this day shall be born a MONKEY (or maybe an ape?) who shall be crowned MONKEY OF MONKEES!

      Oh …

      Wait, what’s this? …

      Um … oh …. yeah, okay.

      Never mind.

      (I hope he don’t get hit by lightning)

  3. Sleep paralysis
    If sleep paralysis is our minds attempt to keep us from acting out our REM dreams, think about natural selection… possibly there were those whose brains did not prevent them from trying to fly off a cliff.

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