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News Briefs 26-10-2004

Can we arrange some sort of NASA experiment to slow the spin of the Earth, so that we have more hours in each day?

  • Family on houseboat videos an Ogopogo? View the video, listen to an interview with the man who took the shots.
  • British Navy hedges its bets and registers a satanist crewman. Can’t fail with both God and Satan on your side, can you?
  • Memorial service for alien abduction researcher John Mack to be held November 13th at Harvard Memorial Church.
  • Here’s the latest Near-Death Newsletter.
  • Your guide to haunted Chicago.
  • Lebanon bans The DaVinci Code. However will Dan Brown make ends meet now?
  • No more sleeping in front of the fireplace – coffee-based log burns cleaner.
  • Bringing order to the fungus among us. I know some fun-guys y’all should meet.
  • HP unveils new ‘glossy magazine‘ computer display.
  • Researcher shows how false memories are formed. But what if his research is all false memories? Take the blue pill dude.
  • Science excludes black people. They’ve got that exclusion thing down pat.
  • Researchers find that strong tides can trigger earthquakes.
  • Squirrel drowning mystery may be due to mass migration.
  • Transhumanists rejoice – first rat brain prosthesis a success. Or at least the transratists can rejoice for now.
  • UN vote on human cloning once again fails to reach decision.
  • Life in a lavatube – it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
  • Total lunar eclipse tomorrow night – at least if you’re in the right part of the globe. In fact, it’s right in the middle of World Series Game 4. By the way, can anyone explain to me why it’s called ‘world’ series?
  • NASA to launch automatic DART craft tomorrow for first computer-controlled satellite rendezvous. Skynet awaits.
  • Exciting times for NASA, as high hopes surround Cassini’s fly-by of Titan later today.
  • Europe leads the way in the race to hunt down ET. I just knew someone was going to come out loser when they banned fox hunting. Now there’s a reality TV show for you.
  • Archaeology Magazine says forget the metaphysics – alchemists were more scientist than magician. The phrase ‘for those with eyes to see’ pops into my head unexpectedly, I don’t know why…
  • Field museum reunites scattered collections from ancient Iraq site.
  • Danish researchers have spent four years replicating a 90-foot-long ocean-going Viking warship.
  • Archaeologists in Germany are thrilled to have discovered Martin Luther’s toilet – the place where the constipated religious scholar spent hours in contemplation. That explains a lot to me actually.
  • Malta’s famous ancient cart tracks to get increased scrutiny.
  • James ‘the Amazing’ Randi’s newsletter for this week.
  • Forget the CNN poll – watch the Redskins home game this weekend to discover the winner of the US presidential election.
  • The ghostly secret behind John Kerry’s mountain retreat.

Thanks Pam.



Quote of the Day:

Just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending, and they’ll ‘oink’ for more every time.

Mr Burns

Editor
    1. Ogopogo
      It’s a legendery lake creature, along similar lines to the Loch Ness monster, that’s supposed to inhabit a lake (or lakes?) in the Americas.

      Not as famous as Scotland’s Nessie, obviously, but another of many reported sightings of strange beasties inhabiting waters around the world.

    1. World Championships?
      Hi IsThis,

      OK, the Japanese don’t suck at baseball, their best teams could probably hold their own in any real World Series.

      And in any case, now you have to explain how the US basketball series can be described as a “World Championship”, since even my old auntie and a bunch of deranged midget mudwrestlers could beat the US “Dream Team” at that game, as proven by the Olympics.

      🙂

      Regards, C

  1. World Series?
    Now that baseball is an Olympic event (for which America, my native land didn’t even qualify – shame on us), maybe “World Series” is overstated. That’s okay, it will eventually come right as the greed takes hold. Before long it will become the “Citibank Series”, or the “Dodge Ram Pickup for Big Dorks with Small D-cks Series”.

    Give it time. As for the “Great American Pastime”, that has now become marathon cell phone use. The champion will be selected by a panel of their peers, based on the ability to talk non-stop, even in the midst of daily activities, about incredibly boring personal matters.

    When I was a kid (back when typewriters typed in pencil), going to a major league ballgame cost a couple of bucks for decent seats, hotdogs were a quarter, and a program was a dime. Try taking a family of four to a game today; you need a home equity loan.

    Regards,
    khefre

    “The place was always cold, and I got the feeling that the fans would have enjoyed baseball more if it had been played with a hockey puck.” Andre Dawson, on Montreal

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